I was thinking recently about how NC State announced that it is about to jack up the price to park your car by quite a substantial amount to walk over and watch the NC State football team kick some field goals. I’m not a marketing guy, but I think we’ve got some synergy we can work with on this.
So, yes, it costs you an extra $300 to park and maintain your current place in the parking ecosystem. This is because of reasons, which is true. It is necessary to remain competitive within the football-cowardice complex, which is vast.
However, with each NC State field goal attempt from the red zone, Dave Doeren has to personally give you $75, shake your hand, and look you in the eye. He has to do this not once, but every single time. His team attempts, say, three, red zone field goals in one game? You get three handshakes, $225, and three increasingly hostile looks in the eye.
That parking pass is a distant memory now, isn’t it? I honestly do not know why NC State doesn’t put me in charge on this stuff.